The Art of The Joke

The evening news is where they begin with 

"Good evening", 

and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

 Working in hospitality for many years, It dawned on me that I might be qualified to lead a discussion on humor. After years of being the conveyor AND recipient of jokes,  (yes, some have even been about me) It occurred to me that person's "default disposition" is happiness, ergo laughter. This being said, one may suspect that laughter might always be at the ready to burst forth...I'm here to tell you that's true. Knowing that life can be relentless in it's daily dose of mediocrity, it is always heartening to know that the joke, the time tested stress reliever and all around good feeling maker, is still around and as effective as ever.

Working in an industry which,  more times than not, requires a personal touch, I, more than some, know the value and healing power of laughter. It has cured me many times and solidified many relationships with associates, friends and family in ways only the joke can, through laughter and the subsequent feeling of comradery. Conversely, a misplaced joke and the negative feelings/reactions it may provoke, can and most likely will, be held against someone long after the joke is over, so be careful!

Saying this, the joke truly is an art form and requires many trials and errors before its true potential is unleashed. With this in mind, it would behoove many an aspiring joke teller to "test" them out on someone objective before spewing them out to an untested and potentially unforgiving audience. Judge your audience well, but don't be afraid to try. The rewards you may reap and the resulting laughter you may share, cut through the daily grind better than most everything else.

The moral of the story is...tell more jokes and spread more laughter, it's contagious! But be prepared to face some criticism if not done correctly and remember laugh with those that have the wisdom and willingness to receive joy in their lives.
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And remember, "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak". That's why I prefer to type...

Jokes of the day

Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" Holmes said Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that The lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have, a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot, Some ------- has stolen our tent."
  
Arriving home very drunk

A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home."

The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man.

The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"

Here's a great place to start laughing!

A Guide to Better Tweeting on Twitter

Ahh, the world of Twitter... an amazing and liberating (and sometimes intimidating) experience, that allows you to be yourself or anyone else you wish to be. But if not careful, you can become inundated by the constant flow of information (tweets) being shared by one another (usually many others). Although I am relatively new to the process (about 6 months), I have devoted a lot of time to learning the nuances that make Twitter the most active and dynamic social network on the net.

After getting the hang of a few tweeting basics like signing up, choosing a username and getting the overall jist of things you can quickly immerse yourself in the world of Twitter. What you might quickly find is the immense potential Twitter may have on an aspiring business. Twitter is first and foremost a social networking site but when used for ways of commerce, this is when Twitter's abundant usefulness and resources truly become apparent.

 At the beginning you start out as a fledgling tweeter as everyone else does, but quickly realize that you have the opportunity to become somebody important! But how??? How does one find their niche? That is entirely up to you! This brings me to the reason for this post. Twitter, if used correctly, can be a marketing tool of enormous potential that reaches thousands! The best part of all, it's free! If this is the primary reason for you joining twitter then I have a few tools that have helped gather me more exposure (followers) much more quickly than traditional means. And when you have followers, you have exposure! This is what I've been trying to get at!

 Keep in mind that other's have discovered this process long before you...so tact and imagination are the order of the day. Do NOT spam! Do NOT become intolerable to those around you! This may be the BEST resource you ever find in your quest for success, so treat it with kid gloves and look before you leap.

The following sites are all free and designed to get you more followers (potentially more money) in a short amount of time.

1) Tweet Glide 
This is a brand new and revolutionary way to manage your Twitter account. 

1. The main, or Home Glide. This is where you will see posts from all of your "friends" or followers. Posts made by you are a different color, which allows you to see your posts quickly and easily. The @Mentions and Direct Messages can also be turned on or off in the Home Glide and are also a different color!
   When others reply specifically to your tweets or you reply to others, the tweets become "threaded", so when you read replies, they are attached to the message being replied to. No more confusion or searching for the original tweet!
2. Sponsored Tweets - as the name implies, this is where you view ads by other TweetGlide members, as well as your ads. This Glide can be turned off, but can not be moved from the second column as long as it's turned on.
3. @Mentions - an easy way to view any mentions of you. Now you know quickly when people are replying to your tweets, or mention you in other tweets.
4. Direct Messages - view all messages sent to you, or all messages you have sent to others!

2) FastFollowers.com

FastFollowers creates a virtual marketplace for followers. Unlike some of the other schemes out there that require you to follow a hundred people before they place you on the list, FastFollowers uses a fair credit system. When you follow people you earn credits from them, and vica versa when they follow you. You can decide how many credits you want to offer per follow, and when you run out you remain on the list so people can still follow you if they like. You can also bulk-purchase credits if you'd prefer to do less following yourself, and just want to grow your own followers.

3) TweeterGhost

A great site for gaining followers that offers free and paid services. Free service enables you to follow all the people on the "twitter train". People that pay to be VIP's get to be first on train and get to be on it more often, therefore gaining more followers. A very effective way to start.

4) Sponsored Tweets

 Participating Advertisers create and list opportunities in the Marketplace located on the site, which offer TWEETERS the chance to receive compensation from the Advertiser in exchange for creating TWEETS. Each Opportunity listing contains a description of the desired TWEET and the compensation to be paid by the Advertiser.

5) TweetBrain
A fun site that allows you to ask and answer questions on twitter. The principle behind this is, as more people ask or answer questions more people become involved. Yours and their answers are tweeted and more followers view them and become interested and involved. Here's a link to a video that explains the process firsthand.

6) Twitter Karma

 A very useful tool. Basically, it’s a Flash application that fetches your friends and followers from Twitter when you click the “Whack!” button, then displays them for you, letting you quickly paginate through them. By default, the list contains all your friends and followers and is sorted by last update, showing those who most recently updated first. You can sort the list alphabetically either ascending or descending by Twitter ID. You can filter the list in several ways: only friends or only followers, all friends or all followers, and mutual friends.

These are but a few of the better ways to utilize the full potential of Twitter. Hope this helps get you off the ground and tweeting with the best of 'em!

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